


The Never-Ending Story Will Shine

by felixfrckls



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Chanlix Deserve The World, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, How Do I Tag, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Idols, M/M, New Year's Eve, eighteen works and i still dont know that, the other members are just mentioned, there is always cuddling in my works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:54:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21878488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felixfrckls/pseuds/felixfrckls
Summary: "Maybe you could finally get a chance to confess to him," Changbin suggested."Confess what? That I have the biggest soft spot for him ever and I would give him a piece of the moon if he just said he wanted it?" Chan jokes, his fake, overly sweet tone trying to hide how true those words actually were."Or that you simply like him but if you want to phrase it like that, sure," Changbin teased, catching the pair of socks Chan threw his way.(or, Felix and Chan are left alone for Christmas and New Year's Day and Chan realises his feelings for Felix may actually be mutual.)
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 8
Kudos: 335





	The Never-Ending Story Will Shine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Liolalisa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liolalisa/gifts).



> For Cyl because you had exams this week and I wanted to do something cute <3  
> Love you, sunshine♡  
> Enjoy uwu

"Guys, what are your plans for Christmas?" 

The smell of holidays was already in the air as the weather grew colder and colder until not even a thick scarf was enough to keep them warm in the snow. 

The heating was, of course, turned on in the dorm and the members were enjoying a rare day off. As they had been running around everywhere and practising nonstop for the last couple of weeks, all nine of them had decided to stay inside and maybe spend some time all together away from their duties as idols. 

Rise of The Guardians had just finished on the TV as Jisung's question came. 

"I'm visiting my parents," Jeongin answered excitedly. 

"I'm going on a trip with my family," Minho added. 

A chorus of voices rang in the room, all of them saying that they too planned to go home and spend Christmas with their families.

All but two people. 

"I can't afford to travel back to Australia and my family was here just last month for the concert, so I’m staying here," Felix said and, even though he tried to cover it, they all could hear the disappointment in his voice. 

As much as Felix loved Christmas and was happy that his members could finally enjoy some time with their own families, ever since coming to Korea he had always felt bitter during that time of the year. His family was in Australia, celebrating holidays all together while he was there alone, getting a maximum of a skype video call if he was lucky. 

Last year, all the members managed to travel back home, even Chan to Australia. They had apologised over and over again but Felix couldn't and didn't want to ask them to stay. He valued family time and just because he couldn't have any with his own, he didn't want to steal it from his friends too. 

"The same goes for me, the tickets are way too expensive this time of the year," Chan announced, not feeling as sad as Felix. Chan had long started to refer to Korea as home and, even though Australia was always going to be special to him, he wasn’t too miserable at the idea of not travelling back. 

Of course, he missed his family too, incredibly much, but in the years he had spent practising to become an idol all alone, he had also got used to being away from them. Especially since his parents had visited Korea just a month before, so not seeing them again so soon wasn't so heartbreaking for him. 

That's why he hadn't even really thought about actually travelling home. He knew how sad Felix felt last year at spending all that time alone in a country which still wasn't that familiar to him while all his friends were having fun with their loved ones. So he had talked to his parents weeks before and decided that he was going to keep Felix company, especially because the prospect of spending all that time alone with the younger sounded like a dream to Chan. 

"Wait, you're staying here too this year?" Felix asked, surprised at hearing the news for the first time. He had tried his best to convince himself that he was okay with spending Christmas alone again but the announcement that Chan of all people was staying with him made him happier than it should probably have. 

He blushed at the thought. 

"Yeah, we can celebrate together if you want," Chan suggested, feeling butterflies in his stomach at the sight of the sparkle quickly making its way to Felix's eyes, now shining like stars. 

"Sounds like a plan," Felix agreed, beaming at the older with happiness written all over his face. Chan could feel his ears burning but he pretended not to notice it for the sake of his dignity. 

The smirks on their friends’ faces were all he needed to know that his attempt to hide how flustered he was didn't succeed. However, the high blush on Felix's own cheeks helped him overcome the embarrassment. 

… 

The boys were getting ready to leave, all finishing packing up their luggage. 

They had all chosen to travel on Monday, three days before Christmas, and come back someday after New Years. While Changbin packed his backpack in their shared room, Chan was lying on his bed just watching his friend move around in the room. 

"So, you and Felix will be alone for the next week, probably even more," Changbin began and, just by the tone he used, Chan knew perfectly well where this was going. 

"We are," Chan simply confirmed, trying not to let anything show. Unfortunately, Changbin knew him too well to fall for it. 

"Maybe you could finally get a chance to confess to him," he suggested, pretending like he wouldn't have been disappointed if Chan decided not to. 

"Confess what? That I have the biggest soft spot for him ever and I would give him a piece of the moon if he just said he wanted it?" Chan jokes, his fake, overly sweet tone trying to hide how true those words actually were. 

"Or that you simply like him but if you want to phrase it like that, sure," Changbin teased, catching the pair of socks Chan threw his way as revenge. 

"I can't understand how you can be so optimistic about this. Do you know how uncomfortable it would be if I confessed and he rejected me? We work and live together," Chan pointed out exhausted. He wanted to believe that he was right, that Changbin was out of his mind to even believe that it was a risk he could take. 

"How do you know he doesn't feel the same about you?" Changbin countered without missing a beat and Chan was reminded of a conversation they had a long time ago when Changbin had first approached him about his feelings for the younger. 

"He has never shown any interest in me outside of our group dynamics," Chan argued, knowing all too well that it was a too weak excuse for Changbin to let the topic drop. 

"Oh, so blushing like a teenager every time you're close to him should be considered normal?" Changbin teased, trying to make Chan reason. "Besides, Felix has never shown interest in other people either." 

Chan sighed, "we're idols, it's not like he can go and ask people out every two seconds." 

For Chan, the conversation was draining. 

Changbin had a point and, exactly for that reason, his brain was working twice as hard to find an excuse why Changbin must have been wrong. If he let the younger convince him, Chan could risk ruining not only his relationship with Felix but with the whole group as well. 

There was no way he was going to take that into consideration. 

"Look, Chan-hyung, I'm the only person you told about your feelings for Felix, right? I mean the others know too but not because you told them," Changbin started, halting all his actions to focus entirely on the conversation. "What makes you think that Felix didn't do the same? That maybe he confided in one of the guys too, just as you did? Either you're really blind, hyung, or you have noticed some signals from him but are too scared to act on them," Changbin said seriously, no trace of the initial teasing. 

If there were two things the younger rapper cared about, those were his friends' happiness and the wellbeing of his group. Chan and Felix had so many chances to be happy together but they were too scared to even think of it as a possibility, shoving it to the back of their minds as if it was something annoying they wanted to get rid of. 

Chan stayed quiet for a few seconds, his brain trying to fully grasp all the things Changbin threw at him before assimilating what he had heard. 

"What do you mean everyone already knows? You have told them?" he shrieked, his eyes shooting wide open. 

Changbin laughed loudly, "I didn't need to. Sometimes a sign with  _ whipped _ written on it would be less obvious than the way you act around him." 

Chan blushed bright red but didn't disagree with Changbin's words. 

He may be scared of his feelings but he wasn't that dumb and he knew that sometimes, even though he didn't want to, his actions spoke louder than any word could. He was quite an affectionate person and he was used to showing his love through physical contact but with Felix, it was on a whole new level. The younger always looked so adorable and cuddly that all he wanted to do was hug the life out of him and keep him in his arms forever. 

"I can't just walk up to him and confess like that, it would just scare him off and I really don't want that now that I finally have some alone time with him," Chan sighed for the second time, eventually giving up on pretending like he didn't know what Changbin was talking about. 

Sure, confessing still sounded like a disastrous decision to him but acknowledging the idea didn't necessarily mean that he had to go on with it. 

"First of all, stop calling him your little brother! I swear to god if my crush kept calling me that I would feel extremely friend-zoned," Changbin advised and Chan couldn't help but nod. 

As much as the term was a sign of affection, Chan could see how deceiving it could be. He would probably cry if Felix kept calling him  _ big brother _ every time they interacted on and off-camera. 

"I don't think there is a right moment or way to do it, you just go with the flow and do what feels right at the moment. After all, it's Christmas, if you ask for a wish you two might finally be dating by the time we come back," Changbin teased but nothing could hide the real sweetness in his voice. 

It had been a while since the last time Chan prayed to the stars but that night, as the boys' luggage were ready at the doorstep for the following morning, he stared out of the window at the dark dotted sky. 

_ When the time's right, I will confess to him. Please, look after us.  _

_ …  _

As all seven of the boys took their taxis to their destinations, the dorm would have been left empty if it wasn't for the two Australians hanging behind.

For a first moment, Chan felt almost shy at the idea of being alone with Felix now that he had thought about the idea of using those days to confess to him. However, it took him only a minute to realise that, after all, Felix was always the same Felix and with that, the tension slipped away. 

It was late afternoon and both of them were busy hanging some Christmas decorations around the dorm. 

"I can't believe Christmas is in two days and we still haven't put the tree up," Felix pouted with a string of lights around his shoulders. 

"The guys were leaving anyway so it's actually our fault since we’re the only ones here," Chan pointed out as he too was fighting with a box of decorations Jisung's mother had sent them over two years before. 

Feliz stopped in his movement and looked at him unimpressed. 

"Do you always have to be like this, Chris?" he asked, making Chan burst out laughing. Felix soon dropped the act and joined in, their laughter covering the sound of the music coming from Chan's speakers. 

Chan couldn't help but smile fondly at the scene, the two of them decorating the dorm, teasing each other with soft music playing in the background. It all felt so intimate and Chan realised that, no matter how that week turned out, no one could ruin that memory for him.

"By the way, hyung, was there something in particular you wanted to do during these holidays?" Felix asked, balancing his body on his tiptoes to reach the top of the tree to put up the star. 

"Not really, I honestly just want to relax and have fun. We worked really hard this year, we deserve a break," Chan confessed, tiredness slipping in his happy voice. 

He loved to be an idol, it was what he had always wanted to be and he had worked hard for it but he couldn't pretend like it wasn't extremely hard sometimes. There wasn’t any work turn, it always was from early morning to late night, and their days off were so rare that they all spent them trying to regain energy for the next packed schedule. 

Felix nodded, "you more than anyone."

Chan looked at him questioningly, not understanding what he meant by that. 

"You work way harder than any of us do. You write our songs, arrange them, record them and on top of that you practice dancing whenever you have some time off," Felix listed, sounding so convinced that Chan felt almost like he was being scolded for not seeing the obvious, "besides that, as the leader, you also attend all the meetings with PD-nim."

Chan stayed silent, his cheeks colouring second after second. It wasn't like his members didn't give him credit for his hard work but still, Felix acknowledging all of that hit in a different way. 

Chan moved away from the box he was trying to open and silently wrapped Felix in a hug, trying to convey all the gratitude he felt for the younger. A bit surprised, Felix soon responded to the hug by pulling Chan a bit closer, the lights shining around his shoulders casting their shadows on the wall. 

When Chan pulled away, he beamed at Felix his eyes sparkling with happiness and so, so much fondness. 

"What was that for?" Felix asked, still not realising how meaningful his words were to Chan. 

Chan shrugged smiling, "I don't know, I just felt like hugging you." 

With satisfaction, he saw Felix's cheeks turn bright red, the blush making the freckles on his skin stand out twice as much. 

"You’re such a sap," Felix complained, shoving Chan’s shoulder to put distance between them, "go put up those decorations so I can make hot chocolate when we're done here." 

Both of them couldn't hide their smiles for the rest of the night, as they drank hot chocolate sitting on the couch with colourful lights dancing on their skins. 

… 

"HYUNG!" 

The yell came from the living room and Chan jumped out of bed, his sight still blurry because of sleep and the cold hitting his bare skin. Shaking from worry, Chan ran as quickly as he could to Felix, panicking at the thought of what could have happened to make the boy yell like that so early in the morning. 

When he got to the living room, he was greeted with the sight of a very much safe Felix, jumping on his feet like a kid. 

"Hyung, it's snowing!" he exclaimed like it was the best thing to ever happen in his life. 

Chan was sure that if it wasn't Felix, he would have gladly killed whoever dared to wake him up so early in the morning, yelling like a madman. 

Felix beamed at him before turning to the big window in front of him, his eyes focused on the snowflakes covering every inch of the world outside. 

"I hate you," Chan said, flopping on the sofa as if his legs couldn’t hold the weight of his body so early in the morning. 

At that moment, Chan felt like hating Felix for two reasons. First, he had almost got a heart attack and had been forced to leave the comfort of his warm bed when the clock hadn't even reached eight am. Second, that same heart Felix had almost stopped with his yell was now beating twice as faster at the sight of the younger so soft and cuddly, excited for something Chan had been used to for almost ten years now. 

All he saw before he closed his eyes as his limbs spread on the couch was Felix pouting at him like a kicked puppy. Exactly because his eyes were closed, he couldn't see Felix getting closer until he felt a body collapse on his own like a warm blanket. Suddenly, the thought of waking up so early in such cold weather didn't feel as bad anymore if it meant getting Felix to cuddle him as an apology. 

"Don't think cuddles can get you out of troubles so easily," Chan grumbled. 

Actually, they could and Chan could feel Felix's laugh shaking his body when he wrapped his arms around his waist, cuddling even more into him.

"Hyung, can we go out later?" Felix asked two minutes later when Chan was already on his way to falling asleep for the second time. 

The older mumbled something before tightening his hold around the younger so that Felix's head was resting in the crook between his shoulder and neck. "Let me take a nap and then I might consider the idea," he said a bit more clearly. 

An hour later, they both woke up wrapped around each other, the limbs of one so tight around the other that it was almost impossible to understand which was whose.

Chan would have gladly stayed like that for the whole day but Felix still wanted to go out, the snow outside making him even more excited. 

They were walking down the roads of Seoul, packed with people running around to buy the last gifts they still missed. Everything was covered in white but not even the biting cold could make Felix stop skipping around like an excited puppy. 

"You know what we should do?" Chan questioned when they were about to finish drinking their coffees in the company's cafe. Felix shook his head, leaning in.

"We should cook our own Christmas lunch for tomorrow. Like how you usually do at home, no take-outs or ramen," the older suggested and he understood Felix liked the idea by the way his eyes started to sparkle. 

As selfish as it may sound, Chan wanted to celebrate Christmas with Felix in the same way a family would. Even besides the huge crush he had on the younger, the boy deserved a proper Christmas celebration even away from home and Chan was all in for that. 

Drinking the last sip of his coffee, Felix got up from his seat and, making sure Chan was done too, he extended a hand towards him. 

"Then let's go buy groceries, Chris!" he said, almost running out of the building as soon as Chan's hand was secured in his smaller one. 

Pushing down the worry of someone seeing them, Chan basked in the feeling of their fingers intertwined as they left footprints in the fresh, white snow. 

… 

An hour into their attempt at making lunch for the next day and Chan was already questioning his life choices. 

"Lix, you're going to cut half of your fingers off," Chan warned, looking with worried eyes as Felix was trying to cut the vegetables in thin slices. 

They had decided to try to cook some roasted chicken, a tradition for both of their families to have on Christmas Day. While Chan was busy preparing the chicken before putting it in the oven, he had given Felix the task of peeling the potatoes and cutting the vegetables. 

Apparently, it was already too much to ask and Felix was a whisker away from a trip to the hospital to stitch his fingers back on his hand. 

"Look, I'm trying! I'm better at baking desserts than cooking meals," Felix complained with a whiny voice. 

"Oh yeah, like that time you made pancakes with Seungmin?" Chan teased, remembering how funny it had been watching his two friends make a mess out of the kitchen while they were also live with their fans. 

"That was all Seungminnie's fault," Felix defended himself, "tomorrow morning, I’m making you pancakes and then we'll see." 

Chan pretended not to mind his heart skipping a bit at the idea of Felix making him breakfast, the scene so domestic that he couldn't even think of it as anything else. 

"I'm scared now," he said instead, "I don't even know why I let you near the kitchen." 

Felix scoffed before leaning closer and smiling at him, "because, otherwise, you would be sad and bored. Haengbokie brings people happiness after all." 

Chan actually thought of Felix’s words for a second. The same Felix that cheered him up every time he felt down but knew exactly when to stay quiet when he needed it. Felix, who knew that a warm hug could do wonders when Chan was stressed and knew that sometimes the leader just needed to stay out of the spotlight. 

He smiled, so soft and fond that even Felix's teasing smirk turned into a warm smile too. 

"I would, you really do." 

… 

Surprisingly enough, the chicken turned out pretty well and so did the vegetables and potatoes. Their plan was to reheat everything the next morning so that their lunch could really feel like a Christmas homemade meal. 

Worn out by the hours spent in the kitchen, they had decided to just watch a movie, finally resting their tired limbs on the couch. The sun outside had already set and the clock on the wall read almost eleven in the evening. The only light in the living room was that coming from the television and from the Christmas tree in the corner, the colours making everything a bit extra bright. 

"Hyung," Felix called, "what did you usually do for Christmas back home?" 

The movie they had chosen was one that both of them had seen hundreds of times, it being played every Christmas, so they didn't mind talking over it. 

"Honestly, nothing special. We used to have a big lunch like the one we cooked today, eat all together and share our gifts. We would stay there for hours to no end," he chuckled, thinking back to the memory fondly.

"Do you miss those times?" Felix suddenly asked and Chan finally understood where the conversation was going. 

His lips turned into a soft smile as he watched the boy beside him, so strong but so vulnerable. 

"I do miss my family and my friends but I’ve always wanted this, ever since I was little. I love Australia but Korea made me the person I am today and I don't think I would be able to go back there leaving what I learned here," he explained, his voice tender and shooting like he was talking to a baby during a storm. "What about you? Do you miss it there?" he asked, knowing the answer already but figuring that Felix needed to let everything go. 

"Like crazy," Felix confessed, "I'm not like you, I didn't grow up here. Everything still feels so unfamiliar to me, even after three years." His lips were turned into a smile but it wasn't that usual smile of his that could light up a pitch-black room. Instead, it was bitter and a bit sad and Chan was extremely grateful that Felix trusted him enough to open up about his insecurities. 

"But still," Felix continued, his voice more determined now, "you make it feel like home a bit more, you all do. It would break my heart to move back to Australia and leave you all guys here. So yeah, I do miss home but I’m happy where I am right now." 

The confession made Chan's heart melt just that little bit more. No matter what the future held for them, Chan only wanted his members to be happy and healthy and the fact that he had apparently helped a lot in making Felix feel like Korea could be his home too was the best prize he could get. 

"I'm happy I stayed here with you this year. It didn't feel right to leave you here all alone," Chan said, hoping Felix could feel how true his words were. 

"I would have never asked you to ditch your family for me but I’m happy you stayed here with me too," Felix smiled, such a gentle pull on the corner of his lips that it somehow hit deeper. 

Too lost in their conversation, neither of them noticed the clock slowly ticking closer to midnight. It was only when Felix's phone lit up with a series of texts that they saw the time. 

"Look, it's midnight!" Felix exclaimed, his voice still not as loud as it was during the day, "Merry Christmas, Chris." 

It all felt so domestic that Chan felt like he could bust with affection. 

"Merry Christmas, Lix," he simply said while his eyes couldn't stop staring at the way Felix seemed to shine in the darkness. 

Even though Chan didn't want to get his hopes up, he couldn't avoid noticing that Felix was staring back with the same intensity, their eyes carrying a conversation they were too scared to verbally have. 

Changbin had told him that he would feel it when it was the perfect moment to confess and, God, did Chan want to blurt out those words right then and there. But, not even his instinct could make him less of a coward. 

"I bought you something," he blurted out instead, glad that it was too dark to notice the way his ears turned red from nervousness. At least Felix’s surprised expression made him focus on something else. "I know we agreed on no presents cause there are too many of us but I've had this idea for a while and it just felt like the perfect time," he continued rambling, scared that the simple gesture could give too much away. 

"I got you something too," Felix cut in, making Chan instantly shut up. If his ears weren't still burning up, he would have felt satisfaction in the way Felix too seemed nervous. 

"You did?" Chan asked dumbly. 

The reason why Chan had bought Felix a present, even though they had agreed not to, was because Felix was so important to him that it felt almost wrong to ignore it. Felix deserved it and if it gave him a good excuse to spoil him without being too obvious, well, he would take it. 

The mere idea that Felix could have had the same thought about him left him speechless. 

"I did," Felix said confidently, getting up from the couch to retrieve the present he had securely hidden in his closet. Chan took the chance to do the same and, two minutes later, they were both back on the couch but now, two small packages rested on their laps. 

When Felix motioned for Chan to go first, the older took a deep breath. With unsteady hands, he gave the gift to Felix who, despite the uncertain atmosphere in the room, looked as excited as a kid. 

Before explaining anything, Chan left Felix to unwrap the package. It was when he noticed Felix eyebrows furrowed in confusion that he spoke again. 

"You've always said that the lyrics you write are bad because you're Korean is shaky, but you don't even realise how much you have improved in so little time," Chan began clearing his throat to make the shakiness go away, "have more confidence in yourself, Lix, and give yourself a chance to write what you really want." 

If it wasn't for the lights casting shadows in the room, Chan wouldn't have noticed the way Felix’s eyes were tearing up at the words. 

"I wanted to be the one giving you your first official notebook for lyrics," Chan finished, the knot in his throat finally going away now that he had said everything. 

As much as the present wouldn’t seem anything special for someone who didn’t know them, it was for Felix and he couldn't believe Chan had put so much thought behind it. 

"Hyung..." Felix trailed off, too touched to properly thank the older. 

Instead, he opted for throwing his arms around Chan's neck, careful to put down his new notebook first. Chan was taken aback at first before chuckling softly and putting his arms around Felix’s waist, responding to the hug. 

Felix pulled back sniffling a bit, pouting at Chan's smile, "my gift is going to seem so bad now." 

Chan hardly doubted it and, knowing that Felix had taken his time thinking about it, the older was already sure he was going to love it. With shaky hands, just as Chan's were before, Felix gave him the gift, watching carefully for a reaction. 

When Chan tore apart the wrapper, he could understand why Felix had felt so moved by his present because now he was the one on the verge of crying. In his hands laid a framed picture of the two of them, smiling happily at the camera with their arms wrapped around each other. 

"It's the first picture we took together over three years ago when I joined the company," Felix reminded him, in case Chan had forgotten about it. But Chan hadn't, in fact, that same picture was on both his laptop and his phone, backed up everywhere so that he could never lose it. 

Apparently, Felix had taken it to the next step. 

"We've been a great team ever since, haven't we? I would have never survived in this business if it wasn't for you and, above all, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I chose this photo because I hope that you can remember how much you did for me and for us since the very beginning," Felix explained, his voice shaky and unsure just as Chan's had been before. 

God, Chan was so so in love with this boy. 

There was something there, something Chan couldn't quite grasp yet. Felix was saying all those things that Chan had always hoped to hear as if they were on the same page for the first time. As if Felix felt as strongly for Chan as the older did for him. 

_ So blushing like a schoolgirl every time you're around should be considered normal?  _

Changbin's words rang in his mind. 

Had Chan always been too scared to take into consideration the fact that Felix could really feel the same? Was he too blinded by fear to notice that the soft spot he had for Felix was the same Felix had for him? 

It was only when he was lying in bed alone that night that he fully wrapped his head around the situation and he realised two things.

First, before the end of the week, he was going to finally confess to Felix. 

Second, as crazy as it still sounded, he was fairly certain that Felix felt the same way about him. 

...

(From the door left ajar Chan could see Felix walk around, a hand holding his phone to his ear and the other gesturing wildly in the air. 

"I told you he wouldn't notice if you wrote it there!" Jisung's loud voice screamed from the phone. 

"I know but I didn't know where else," Felix defended himself, "it's not like I could tell him to look on the back of the picture without combusting." 

Chan furrowed his brows and before Felix could notice him, he went back to his room. Sitting on the bed, he looked at the framed picture he had put on his nightstand before taking it in his hands. 

He took the picture out of its frame and he was greeted with the sight of Felix’s neat handwriting. 

_ For then, for now, and for the years to come, thank you.  _

_ I love you, Chris, _

_ Felix _

With light steps and a huge smile on his lips, he made his way to breakfast, following the smell of the pancakes Felix was waiting for him to wake up to make.) 

…

Christmas Day and all the days that followed were spent sharing shy smiles and too long stares which resulted in them blushing hard every time their eyes met. Something had definitely changed in their behaviour as if both of them had understood where things were leading them but they were still too scared to fully acknowledge it.

It was only on New Year’s Day that Chan realised something very important. 

He wanted to start the year with Felix by his side.

“What are we going to do tonight?” Felix asked as they chatted with the members through their group chat.

Chan thought about it for a moment before coming to a conclusion.

“I don’t think we should go downtown, there will be too many people and I don’t really want fans to ruin our night,” Chan started, seeing the way Felix’s face fell at the idea of not celebrating.

“So what should we do instead?” he asked, pouting a bit. All their friends were either celebrating with their family or joining the people in the city to wait for the clock to strike midnight while they were forced to stay inside so that they wouldn’t get recognised.

Chan took a deep breath and decided to go for it, “leave it to me.”

His words were simple but to his ears, they sounded like the first step to what could either be a blessing or a disaster.

As the evening came Felix noticed Chan’s absence, he had said he was going to be busy for a couple of hours and never revealed to Felix what their plans for the evening were. It was only when the clock struck eight that Chan returned to the dorm, finding Felix lying down on the couch playing some games on his phone.

The younger was not as lively as he usually was, probably because he had been left alone for the most part of the afternoon and he was still bitter at the idea of not celebrating, but Chan hoped he could make it better.

“Are you ready to go?” Chan suddenly asked, not even sure that Felix heard him come in. The younger definitely didn’t expect to leave the dorm and the surprised expression on his face gave that away.

“Are we going out? Wait, do I need to dress up?” Felix asked back eagerly, his annoyance already forgotten.

Chan smiled, “you look amazing as you are.”

The comment that in the past could have been read as teasing between friends was now something that held way more meaning than that. Felix blushed at the compliment but Chan couldn’t help but notice the happy spark in his eyes. 

“Let’s go,” he exclaimed excitedly before taking Felix’s wrist in his hand and making his way out of the dorm room again.

Now that his plan was into motion, Chan couldn’t control his nervousness anymore. He knew there were high chances of things going perfectly well but a part of him was still extremely scared that he had somehow misunderstood everything. Chan really didn’t want to start their new year with an awkward conversation about unrequited feelings.

Felix was still confused as to where they were going but he trusted the older enough to let him lead him wherever he had planned. When the door of the rooftop came into vision, Felix started to understand, it didn’t take long before they made their way outside and he finally got to find out where Chan had spent most of his afternoon.

The blanket on the ground looked soft and cosy, the pillows on it making it look even more comfortable. Beside it, there was a basket full of what Felix could only imagine was food and drinks and, sitting on the ground, was a speaker, ready for either one of their phones to connect and add a soundtrack to the already mesmerizing scene.

Felix was left speechless both from wonder and affection. 

Chan knew he was sad at the idea of not celebrating New Year’s Day at all so he had worked hard to organise something last minute. Thanks to the expectant tension that so much time alone had created between them, Chan’s idea of celebration looked a lot like a romantic date and Felix felt even more over the moon.

“I know it isn’t much but we can at least see the fireworks from here,” Chan started, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, “we can’t go downtown but I still felt like we should celebrate together somehow.” 

Chan’s voice was shaking so much from nervousness that he was actually surprised he had managed to make out the whole sentence. Felix could feel it and, with a soft squeeze on the hand he was still holding, he reassured him, “it’s perfect, Chris, really.”

The soft, soft smile Felix directed at him made Chan’s knees almost give out.

They set down on the blanket and Felix was pleased to notice that, despite the pollution of the city, the sky was clear enough to see the stars. Chan opened the basket lying next to him and, as Felix had guessed, the inside was filled with food, all things that Felix loved and the older had made sure to remember.

With some slow music from Chan’s favourite playlist playing in the background, not even the noise of the cars on the road could ruin the atmosphere they had created for themselves.

The clock was slowly ticking closer to midnight as they talked the night away, acting no less different than how they always used to, bickering and laughing together. The food didn’t last long and they were soon back at looking at the night sky, the stars shining brightly on them making everything even more special.

“You know, I didn’t think these holidays would turn up like this,” Felix confessed, his eyes reflecting the light of the stars as little galaxies themselves. Chan felt mesmerized.

“What do you mean?” he asked when he caught his breath back.

“Last year, when I didn’t get to celebrate back home, I felt extremely sad and lonely. I was afraid it was going to be the same this year as well,” Felix started to explain, his usual low voice covering up the shakiness, “but here you are, making sure that that doesn’t happen.”

As he said that, he turned to look straight at Chan as if to beg him to confirm what he thought he had figured out. Chan could almost feel the seconds tick closer to midnight and, once again, he was reminded of how much he wanted to be able to call Felix his before the end of the year.

“Do you remember how I told you the plane ticket was too expensive to travel back home?” he asked and Felix nodded. “The truth is that, by then, I had already talked to my parents, I told them that I wanted to stay here with you and they agreed,” Chan confessed, feeling brave enough not to break eye contact with Felix.

Instead of being flustered or shy at the sudden information, Felix’s lips turned up in a smile, Chan’s words making him feel extremely happy. For the second time since Christmas, they both felt like much was left unsaid but, this time, there was no real need to say it in the first place, they both could feel it.

“So Jisung was not playing with me,” Felix said and his tone dropped to a teasing one. At the mere sound of the younger’s name, Chan paled. “He told me he heard you talking to Changbin-hyung about your plans for these holidays,” he continued as if Chan wasn’t embarrassed enough.

If Chan didn’t burst out in flames then, then he decided he could survive everything. His ears were cherry red as he realised what that meant, “you knew about it this whole time?” 

Felix loudly laughed at the look of pure panic on Chan’s face but, at the same time, he placed his hand in Chan’s as if that was somehow going to make everything better. To be honest, it did, but Chan felt like his heart could stop completely at the gesture.

“Jisung told me but I didn’t believe him,” Felix defended himself, slowly realising what they were finally admitting to each other, “it just didn’t sound plausible with us being constantly under the spotlight.”

This time, it was Chan the one who couldn’t hold in his laughter. He had been so in love with Felix that it was weird to even think of a future where the younger wasn’t in his life and, in the meantime, Felix didn’t even notice anything particular in the way he acted around him. 

Their hands were still intertwined and Chan lowered his gaze to look at them with the softest smile on his lips. “I would have done this so much sooner if it wasn’t for us being idols. I thought I could just forget about it until it went away but it never did. So, here I am, making a fool out of myself in front of you,” Chan chuckled, too relieved to feel uncertain about opening up and finally letting out what he had held in for years.

“When you told me you wanted to stay in Korea for the holidays too, I thought it was some kind of sign from destiny,” Felix confessed as well, the words pushing to be said, “if you hadn’t taken the first step today, I would have.”

Chan’s smile could break his face in a half from how huge it was. For the first time in so, so long he wasn’t scared to say his next words.

“I do really like you,” he confessed and, like a spell, the weight pressing his shoulders down, suddenly lifted.

“I like you too,” Felix’s smile softened even more if it was possible. Nevertheless, he still couldn’t hold back the teasing, “actually, I think I like the other phrasing more. Wait, what was it? Ah, yes! I have the biggest soft spot for you ever and I would give you a piece of the moon if you just asked.”

As embarrassed as he was at the fact that Felix knew about that whole conversation and even remembered his exact words, nothing could ruin finally hearing that confession coming from the younger.

It was almost as if the clock had waited for them before striking midnight, the fireworks in the sky going off and the colourful lights joining the brightness of the stars and the moon. Their fingers were still intertwined between them as they watched the fireworks explode in front of their eyes.

Deep down, Chan knew it was extremely cliché, the whole scene was but, never in a million years, he would have let the opportunity to make such a special memory with Felix pass by. The fireworks were still tinting the dark sky when Chan turned towards Felix, the younger looking more beautiful than all the stars and fireworks combined.

When Felix felt Chan’s eyes on his, he tuned as well, their gazes meeting as fond, knowing smiles pulled at their lips.

The kiss that followed was the perfect representation of all the feelings they had to keep for themselves in the years they had known each other. There, with no fans or cameras staring at them, nothing felt so familiar as their lips touching.

Just because they had finally found the courage to admit to the other and to themselves what they really felt, it didn’t mean that everything was going to be easy. They were still idols, constantly in the public eyes and they still had fans who would never accept their favourites to be in a relationship, let alone with another boy.

However, what they could now count on were soft cuddles and just as soft kisses after a long and tiring day, a familiar face to wake up next to every day and no more holding their happiness back because of fear.

Above all, thanks to each other, they finally felt like they had a home away from home, a family away from blood-related family.

As a new year shared together loomed in front of them, Chan made sure to thank the stars for making his Christmas wish come true.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked the story even if it was really light hearted, I just needed to get back into writing something not too complex ^.^  
> Have a great day filled with Chanlix!  
> And also, Marry Christmas and Happy New Year! Enjoy your holidays <3
> 
> i'm always up for a talk @  
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